Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Thank God He's a Country Boy

I have a lot of knitty things to blog about, but I thought I'd take a little moment to talk about John Denver.
John Denver lives in the little house next door to my best friend Loni. He got his name, John Denver, from the fact that he usually wears a pair of big seventies glasses that make him look like this picture in the sleeve of my John Denver cd of the real John Denver in some similarly nerdy glasses. We have no idea what his real name is, but since he actually answers to "John Denver" we've decided its best not to ask him . We like to let him retain his aura of mystery.
John Denver is nuts.

There are many stories I could tell about John Denver, and I will tell them sometime.
For now, I'll let John Denver speak for himself.
It's hard to actually put anything he says into context, because there really is no context for anything that he says. We sit out on the porch, and we'll ask him a question to get him rolling, and then he just goes off into John Denver land and we get to listen to him do it.

Here are a few John Denver quotes.

He pointed to this tree out in Loni's backyard and told me a story about it. He said:

"Tammy told me, this was back in 1987..." (Keep in mind, John Denver has only lived here for about a year.) "She told me....See that tree? That tree is YOU! And when they come to cut that tree down, they gonna cut YOU down!" And then he takes a drag of his cigarette and looks back at me, and says, "That's why I was all freaked out when Loni was gonna cut that tree down. Cause I was on acid."

Then suddenly, John Denver has a British accent, and he sounds exactly like Robin Leach.

"In New York City, girls have sex, right there in front of you."

He waves his hand in front of him to simulate the curves of a woman's body. "Just like a perfect rain drop.....I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. Just as giddy as a snake."

Then he moves on to talking about alcohol. "Coke and Crown," he says. "It puts a little umbrella on top of your head....Kind of like you have staff...or a concussion."

And John Denver on VD: "You know...you can actually see one's soul...if you have Hepatitis C."

We talked a little about religion. John Denver asked me if I was Lutheran and I told him I was a witch.

"You're a witch? Welcome aboard, dear. If you're sure you're a witch, welcome aboard. My first wife was Church of Christ, you know."

Loni asked him, "John Denver, how many times have you been married?"

"Never! Why get married when the cows are free?"

The thing is, John Denver is nuts, yes, but even though he seems to be talking in circles about nothing at all, I understand what he's saying, and a lot of times I agree with him. Which might tell you something about me. I get him. And I think he gets me. We have a rare kind of friendship. He doesnt care what I think of him, because he's nuts, and I don't care what he thinks of me, because he's nuts. And so we say things to each other that most people don't say. There's no politeness with John Denver, and therefor there's no rudeness either. When I think he's full of shit I tell him he's full of shit. When he thinks I'm a slut he tells me I'm a slut. And when he starts to get on my nerves and I'm over it, I tell him I'm over it, and that he should go home, and he goes home, and I still like him, and he still likes me.
Maybe John Denver and I have a strange kind of unconditional love. I really do think of him rather fondly. He lives a simple life. He gets his check every month and he eats his fresh fruits and vegatables, and he walks around Poteau, and listens to his music late at night, and rolls his own cigarettes. I think he's happy, and I'm happy for him. I think he's probably had some hard times in his life, and I hope they are over for him. I think maybe he's just satisfied with his life. He doesnt seem like he wants anything more than what he has.
I aspire to be more like John Denver.
If nothing else, you gotta admit, he has some awesome hair.

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